Back to the beginning: The very first Care Bears column

I have a situation, I have a new flat this year and the other night I hooked up with one of my new flatmates! I know this is against all the rules, but rules are made to be broken… Aren’t they? Do you have any advice for me?

Love a Lot Bear Says:

This is something you need to think long and hard about, there are a few factors you have to consider if you want to continue this. Are you serious about having a relationship or do you want something a lot more casual?

Both of you need to be on the same page about where you want to go (yes even if it is early days, because you already live together and there’s a lot more at risk than in a typical relationship) You should realise too that all the steps you go through in a new relationship are fast forwarded when you’re already living together and the honeymoon phase will probably wear off a lot quicker. Take into consideration the fact you can’t really get away from the person if you need to – if you’re the kind of person who needs their space it’s going to become very hard for you.

Have you considered what may happen if things end badly? One of you may have to move out and find somewhere else to live. On the other hand it is definitely not all negative! If this is someone that you really like, have a lot in common with and share common goals with my romantic side tends to say go for it. I think life is too short to miss out on things out of fear or repercussions.

Share Bear says:

Rules are there for a reason. Rules are not made to be broken. Everyone knows “you don’t screw the crew”. Screw, in this sense also means kissing and touching in ways that are inappropriate, not just the literal meaning. It’s an underlying rule that everyone know about and a rule that also applies to flatting situations.

Why is this?

Well in the end, things are just going to be awkward, if you and him do anything more. There’s no doubt about it. What I recommend you do, is both pretend like nothing happened and continue you on with your usual flatting situation. If you want to try things further, you have to come to the realisation that one of you will most likely need to move out and find a new flat at some point, because like I said ‘shit’s going to get awkward’.


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