Care Bears Advice: ‘I have fighting friends!’

So, this year all (well almost all) of my friends are turning the big 21. I should be excited about this, lots of parties, free alcohol and just general good times, and for the most part, I am. Until I get to the part of scheduling my friends from high school, and uni friends. It gets harder when my friends start fighting over a date, and I somehow end up being put in the middle. What on earth can I do? Do I tell them to pull their heads in? Or just tell them I won’t go if they keep arguing?

Please help with all your amazing knowledge!

Share Bear says:

I think telling your friends that you won’t go to their 21st’s if they keep arguing is definitely cutting your nose off to spite your face.

Why don’t to try to talk to your friends again and get them to try and sort it out amicably. If they can’t do this and they keep arguing about it, I would keep my nose out of it. Essentially it’s not your problem and I wouldn’t spend time worrying to much about it. If they choose to have their 21st’s on the same night, they have to realise that you can’t choose one over the other (unless they are in different cities) and will have to divide your time between them.

Your friends should realise that they need to make sacrifices, like the possibility of having their 21st three weeks after the actual date if they want everyone to attend.

Love-a-lot Bear says:

Is it your uni friends fighting with each other or your friends from home? Or is it a combination? I would advise not getting too involved but just make it clear if they make you choose they can’t be too upset if you can’t choose them. Try suggesting a combined party or getting them to be more flexible with their dates – two weeks after your actual birthday isn’t really a big deal if it ensures all your friends can make it.

I have always though a combined party is a great idea; it can work really well providing the two (or three) friends are all quite close and their families get along. It can be a great solution because all your friends can come and it can work out a bit cheaper too –  sharing the cost between two or three people can work wonders for your (or your parents) wallet.


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