Beauty Rules

Since turning 22 (it’s super old when you’re in no way a teen anymore) I’ve entered the first Holy-Fuck-What-Are-You-Doing phase of my life. It’s not super drastic, so don’t stress, I’m not going to run off and join a commune or anything crazy. It’s more to do with realising stuff like how much you can get away with not looking after your skin, until you can’t anymore.

All throughout my easy breezy teen life I could get away with doing next to nothing for my skin. Cleanse. Make up. Go. Now that I’m an old fart I and I have to do grown up things like actually build a beauty routine/cook for myself/pay my own bills/trust myself to go to the beach and not get skin cancer I wish I’d listened to my wise old (not actually old. 50 is the new 21) mum when she said things like; put on sunscreen, wear a hat, it’s cold out take a cardigan, don’t grow your fringe out it makes you look like a man, don’t spend all your money on shoes you might need a house one day, love your friends because boys come and go (literally).

So here Mum, this list is for you. I’m going to be a real grown up this year.

1) Wear fucking sunscreen. All. The. Time.

When I was young and flawless I thought it was so chic to be one of those people who never had to wear sunscreen, could lie out all day and never get a freckle. Well I must have been living in Never land because I’m pale as a ghost by the time summer rolls around. Which means I’m not one of those utterly chic cancerous people, and I should have worn sunscreen. I’m paying for it now. mostly with an increase of moles I have to keep an eye on for the rest of my life, and expensive IPL treatments to get rid of sun pigmentation.

2) Wear a hat outside.

Same as above. No one likes a burnt scalp. You’ll like it less when it flakes off too. Ewww. Hats for everyone!

3) Fringes for Haynses

When I was younger, I decided that I wanted to look older (such is the irony of life) and the thing standing in my way was my god forsaken fringe that I had been forced to have all my deprived childhood. Turns out I DON’T suit a straight down middle part and the only variation on fringe I can do is sideways. Sometimes a quiff.  And I’m okay with that. Saves eyebrow plucking.

4) Don’t spend all your money on shoes, you might need a house one day.

Okay so I’m actually not so bad in this respect,  I started a government retirement scheme 2 years ago. One of two things Mum wishes she’s done – started saving for retirement as soon as you start working. Future old wrinkly me is going to appreciate this one.

5) Moisturise your skin ALL the time.

For most of my teen years I needed the opposite, oily skin was the absolute bane of my existence  thankfully now it’s settled down, and I can afford higher end make up that works with my skin to keep shine at bay. Plus moisturiser + non dry skin will save me plenty of wrinkles in the future.

6) Don’t forget abut your décolletage…

Extend your moisturising regime all the way down your neck and to your collarbone  Future wrinkly you will appreciate this one too.

7) Exercise!

The sooner you’re happy with your fitness levels and body image the longer you’ll have to enjoy it!

8) Love your friends.

Boys come and go. Some literally, if you get my drift. Your girlfriends are the only ones who’ll be there for you and help you pick up the pieces. A lot of us (me) have that bad habit of losing touch with each other once a boy comes along. If he leaves and your poor ignored mates are still there waiting to pick up the poor, broken pieces of your heart don’t make the same mistake twice – treasure those girls.

9) Fall in love with nice boys who adore you.

Bad boys are all good and well, but they’re unfixable (come on I know we all think they aren’t, and they’ll fall madly in love with us and change). The boys who make you laugh, and think the sun shines out your ass are the keepers.

10) Don’t take life too seriously but don’t say YOLO.

I do this. It’s bad. We only get one go around, so we might as well make the most of it. But proceed with a little caution – YOLO is not an excuse to throw all caution to the wind. Plus it’s a stupid word.

Peace out, and make 2013 the best year so far.

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