I do so many weird things. Okay here goes. Don’t judge me.
1. Learn all the lyrics to rap songs then pretend I’m a rapper and, well, RAP. 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one. This usually happens alone in my car.
2. I have 6 soft toys of varying species. I rotate who gets cuddles so no one gets left out. I’m alone in bed a lot okay! And never getting laid ever again..
3. Investigate people via social media intensively. Facebook stalk. But errbody does this. Right?
4. Imagine stuff that could happen, could have happened, (if I only did x differently), stuff I wish would happen, what will happen eventually (imagine the ways it might). And then just full on crazy day dreams about stuff that will never ever happen. Ryan Gosling. Lotto. Magically waking up one day with singing talents.
5. Wonder random stuff about the world. Google it. Learn a bunch of useless facts that I usually blurt out later, at inopportune moments, making shit real awks. My fave is the fact that ducks mate for life, so I kinda don’t approve of duck shooting season.
6. Measure the circumference of my thighs. NOT in an eating disorder way but in a I-have-one-larger-than-the-other-because-of-my-bung-knee way.
7. Eat everything in bed. There are crumbs..
8. Google astrology profiles obsessively, and then say things to myself like “OMG, that is saaah me”, and “I’m like, a textbook Scorpio”.