The scary thing about writing about sex and dating is that I really fucking like it; you guys seem to want to read it, which is a bonus, and I don’t really care what anyone thinks anymore. Although sometimes I am surprised that anybody dated Carrie, what with the column that she wrote.
That being said, if you are related to me (Mum) I think you should turn back now, unless you actually mean it when you say we are friends and you want to know about my (sometimes lack of) love life. Judging by the things you tell me, sometimes I think you mean it; but I’m not sure how you will feel when the oversharing shoe is on my foot. But congratulations on creating such a well formed human with a healthy attitude towards sex! Plus, you always have my sister if I disappoint you.
Since signing up for OKCupid New Zealand three weeks ago I have learnt a bit. You can read about the first week here.
Here are the things about dating that have become clear to me.
1. Just be you. (most) Boys are not stupid, and they know when you’re trying to be something else.
2. Stop thinking of everyone in your life as supporting characters to your story. Though they might be for a page, a chapter, or half the freaking book; they’re also the hero/heroine of their own story, and probably trying to figure out where that great kiwi novel is going. i.e. their life doesn’t revolve around you.
3. The reason most girls get stressed out over dating boys is because they have no fucking idea where they stand with said boy. As soon as you’ve found your footing, you can process whether you’re okay with your newfound location…
You might remember I had a tres fab date (two of them, in fact), and it turns out this attractive human is mostly interested in sex. Which he’s pretty great at. Normally this would go against everything I thought I wanted, but I’m kinda at the point where love/boyfriends/relationships are so disillusioning to me that I’ve kinda thought ‘FUCK IT’, why shouldn’t I have amazing sex with an attractive person knowing full well where I stand? (see numero tres).
There is no reason not to.
N.B. ‘fuck it’ means I’m quite happy where I am, dating people, seeing what happens, trusting that the right shit is going to happen at the right time, and having fun in the process. That is kind of the point of being 20 something, am I right?