Thought I’d give you a little update on dating, seeing how this is supposed to be a dating blog and all.
The OkCupid Date (with average Nick)
I went on an OKC date a couple weeks ago. And it was shiiiite. Haha. On the drive to the café I was super unpysched, so spent 3 minutes talking to myself in the car to try and get a tiny bit excited.
- Caitlin, be more excited!!
- Caitlin, this could be the boy of your dreams!
- Caitlin, its gonna be shit if you look like you don’t even care.
- Caitlin! He came all the way from.. Hmm not actually sure where, but he came to you! Be enthused!
It didn’t work. Warning sign #1.
He looked super nervous when he came in. And still nervous 5 minutes later. He ordered me my soy flat white, and ordered himself a HOT CHOCOLATE.
Let it be known I have nothing against HCs, in fact I kind of adore them on cold rainy nights snugged up in bed. However what kind of self-respecting person drinks them in the daytime, on a date? A child. That’s who.
Chitchat was ok, but obviously I didn’t give a shit so meh. Then he looked extremely nervous and awkward; I could tell he was about to bust out with something terrible. He coughed awkwardly and then actually said this line: “So what’s a pretty girl like you doing on a dating site like this?” I think the look on my face (mortified) must have said it all because then he said: “Oh you know, you must meet guys everywhere”.
My Brain: Listen boooy, I don’t rate myself that much, and boys don’t ask girls out. Not in my experience anyway. I somehow managed to say “um no, I don’t. And I’m on it because its fun…?” After about 5 more minutes of really awkward talking he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk (the last thing I wanted to do with him). I couldn’t for the life of me think of some kind of activity I could have planned for a Sunday afternoon so I literally just said “Um I can’t. I have a thing I have to do to…? Umm yeah, whats the time? Oh yeah I’m doing this thing with my flatmates, I totally have to get going now.
Said thanks for the coffee and gapped it.
Last Weekend In Town
Last weekend in town it was my mission to find a Tinder boy I’ve dubbed ‘Hot Nick’. I didn’t find him because drunk boys are useless at texting but he called me the next day and we still snapchat every day so at least I have that…
I did meet a guy randomly in McDonalds at 4am, who for some reason wanted my number. I was drunk and shovelling ketchup-covered fries into my mouth at the time, so go figure.
He just text me half an hour ago saying: “Towning 2nyt? I need someone to suck my ______ at the end of it”.
So yep, this is why I joined online dating! The real life ones are weirder and nastier! Nice one bro. And no I’m not going out.
A Successful Mid-week Tinder Date
After the disaster* that was Saturday night, I spent the next morning trying to be not drunk with my town buddy. A guy I had been talking to the previous night, Nik (we call him Nik with a K, for obvious reasons – so many Nicks, so little time) messaged me and we’ve basically been talking ever since. He’s pretty cool and has an off the wall sense of humour. We had a date on Tuesday night, which involved him getting in a strange girls car (mine), a tiki tour around the back streets of Ponsonby (dangerous) and an awkward hug goodbye (the best kind).
We hung out again last night, and all I wanna say is yep, #tinderworks
*disaster in terms of dating, because I didn’t find Hot Nick. Town was actually fun and the Lorde gig before was EPIC.
The Biggest Fuck-Up Ever
This dude I had been messaging on Tinder and given my number to because the app is really buggy sent me a Viber message on Thursday night. I hadn’t messaged him back the last three times he talked to me as I was getting a bit of a creepy vibe. Probably something to do with the amount of winky faces and kisses he sent. Ew.
I paused my episode of Supernatural (still hoping to find a real life Sam or Dean yo) and picked up my phone.
Carl Tinder (default surname when navigating the online dating/hookup world) has sent you a Viber group message.
Oh. My. God. This dude had sent a picture of himself (below, discretion may be required) to THIRTEEN different girls saying “Hey, hopefully see you soon :-)”. The kid didn’t realise that sending the same message to multiple people in Viber sends a group message, and not 13 individual ones.
All that effort tuning thirteen different ladies down the drain! Ha Ha Ha. I had a pretty good yarn to these girls making fun of Carl, and made three new Facebook friends out of it.
So yeah. That’s where dating is at the moment. I have a date set up with a cute guy called Richie next Thursday so I’ll let you know how that goes too. At least he’s not called Nick.