In the interests of preserving my own sanity I am not writing this open letter to the person I like. It’s usually too fleeting, and a more important person to like is myself. I’ll try to avoid weird third person speech…
Hello, I like you. You’re smart, and even when you’re not, when you don’t know enough you know enough to shut up, listen, and learn. It’s taken some work but I like that when you look in the mirror you’re happy with what’s there. You should be. You’re a healthy person who’s alive and breathing, your body is unbroken and works. You’re funny, but I wish you would make less self-deprecating jokes, and I wish you would be less sarcastic sometimes. I’m certain it often comes out a lot more scathing you intend, and it stings.
I like the way you’re beginning to know yourself, even when it’s the hardest thing in the world, you delve into your mind (which is an insane place, no wonder you’re always tired) and self-fucking-analyse and it hurts and cuts you down but you’re strong enough to build yourself back up again, and then look at that; you’ve grown. I like the way things fire you up, it’s taken awhile to figure out what does and you’re still not there yet, but there are flickers and sparks, and I hope one day soon something will click and you’ll know exactly what you’re supposed to do and where.
I like the way you’re a wildly different person each day you wake up. I know it’s terrifying and you wonder if you’ll ever feel calm and wake up with any sense of what you want out of life, or any sense of peace; but you will. I like the way you’re scared, you’re scared of life just happening to you, but you don’t understand that this is essentially what will shake you up, it’ll keep you searching and wanting more. Life will never happen to you, it’s your life and you will direct it. You just need to know where.
I like the way you love love, and you have so much to give. You’re not with them yet but when you are he’ll be lucky and you’ll be lucky because the world is a huge place and it’s insane we ever meet anyone we like when the chances of totally missing one another are massive, and it’ll be hard sometimes but always worth it. I like the way you know what you want, and it’s deep and meaningful and real, and you’re not prepared to settle for less. You’ll know it when you find it.